Goin to the Pictures

Before I start, I've still only got 2 followers and one of those was me pretending to be my wife (not in a weird way)...so actually I've really only got the Incredible Mr Ford. Thanks for sticking in there fella. I've been on other people's blogs and they have dozens of followers so what's going on. Rich and Mr Black, I think it's just you two out there so I will keep it up for us. How do the professionals do it? The set-up instructions talked about monetizing my Blog and adding adverts that earn me money every time one of the readers click on the advert. A nice thought but I think it would cheapen my efforts and it requires lots of followers. I don't want to monetize the Blog but some more hits and followers would be good for my faltering e-ego. Does anyone have any ideas? Other blogs seem to be focused on one subject and attract hits based on subject matter. Perhaps mine is too varied. They say that you should write about what you know so maybe I should write about music all the time. At least you two (Fordy and Bri) will read it anyway and you both like music, but I don't want to restrict myself.

I'm writing this from our brand new iMac. Very sexy it is too. iTunes works much quicker and downloads the CDs in a jiffy. Why don't I get the album artwork each time? One of you must know the answer. Garageband is a great application too. I think I will be the next Aphex Twin and make millions from the comfort of the batcave.

Tracey and I were thinking of going to the pictures tonight but there's nothing on. Well, there is, but we've already seen Harry Potter, Julie and Julia and The Ugly Truth. The latter is very funny, by the way, in case you haven't seen it although Gerrard Butler's American accent is awful. Anyway, it got me thinking about films I've enjoyed over the years so here's a few recommendations:

Big Night; a story of the owners of an Italian restaurant that serves excellent food but few customers. It stars Minnie Driver, Ian Holme and a few other's you'll recognize but it's one of those films that you never forget, for the right reasons.

Trainspotting; still a brilliant film (and even better soundtrack).

Notting Hill; I love Hugh Grant films. I don't know why. He plays the same character in everything he's in but I can watch them over and over again. Is this a guilty pleasure or does anyone else like them too? Perhaps it's the scripts. I don't know.

Hi Fidelity; the story of a record store owner so I was hooked before I saw it. Lot's of great tunes including the Beta Band and a great performance by Jack Black.

24 Hour Party People; this is the story of Factory Records and the Hacienda. It has a cameo from Mark E. Smith and has Steve Coogan playing the infuriating Anthony Wilson.

Gregory's Girl; I remember seeing it in the cinema when I was a kid and enjoying it and then watching it years later on the TV and finding it brilliantly funny.

300; I love the fact that this heroic Greek king has a Scottish accent. Maybe it's because it sounds more aggressive than an American one.

Angel Heart; Rich and I watched this with Morgan Bath at University and I loved it, especially the twist at the end. I wonder what Morgan is doing now. 

About a Boy; another Hugh Grant film but one with a Badly Drawn Boy soundtrack. 

As Good As It Gets; Jack Nicholson at his best playing a crabbit old guy and his growing relationship with his gay neighbour who he can't stand, and the waitress at his favourite cafe.

Kelly's Heroes; the best war movie ever with Donald Sutherland playing a hippy driver of a Sherman tank.

So I Married An Axe Murderer; one of my favourite movies, particularly the scenes with the Scottish father. One of the only acceptable Scottish accents from someone who doesn't normally have one that I have ever heard.

Meet Joe Black; strange but wonderful.

OK, that should keep you going for a while.

Quick update on the Big Read top 100, I finished Pride and Prejudice and started on War and Peace. It's 1000 pages of very very small text so I should be at it for a long time. Need to stick at it though because I want to be able to say I've read it one day. Jane Austin's novel was good but the style of writing took a few pages to get used to. I'll have to see the movie now that I've read it. I never used to like period dramas but I think I'll make an exception.

OK, back to downloading The Fall into iTunes.

Getting Better

It has been quite some time since my last Blog, due in part, to a week away in Nelson where we spent a week with my cousin Heather and her family and chilled out as usual. The kids have the space to roam around and Heather and Brain's boys keep them occupied which means that Tracey and I have the time to relax, read books, drink coffee and look at the spectacular scenery. Thanks guys for a great week.

The other reason for the delay in writing has been the fact that I have been struggling a bit on the medication. The neurologist had to change it because when I didn't have caffeine induced work to keep me awake during the day I was doing a great impression of a zombie, but without eating people. That wouldn't have been very popular. I'm now on new medication and seem to be back to normal in terms of my energy and the ability to stay awake beyond 4pm. When the meds were changed I had a couple of weeks on both as I was weaned of the old ones and gradually introduced to the new ones so the latter part of our week in Nelson saw me more tired that ever but since our return I'm back to normal. Let's hope it lasts.

So I have spent the last couple or three weeks continuing to buy CDs in Thrift Stores in Vancouver, something that we have been doing for the past year or so. Due to the advent of iTunes and other digital music sources, people appear to be ditching their CD collections to create space so audiophiles like me, who actually like to have an actual product to pick up, can add to their collection...for next to nothing. There's also a few record stores in Vancouver that have used CD sections where you can buy them a little cheaper than stores like HMV. Tracey and I found another one today on Commercial, in East Vancouver, and I picked up some more: Primal Scream, Money Mark and Super Furry Animals. They had some 7" singles pinned to the wall behind the counter. They had one King Kurt single, "Zulu Beats", (remember that one Donald) for $99.99. I was convinced no one in Canada had heard of King Kurt, let alone be prepared to part $99.99 for 2 songs. When I was paying for the CDs I heard that the Shuggie Otis album had been released on CD so that will give me something to search for. I read about him in the book "1001 Albums to Listen to Before You Die" but never expected to find it anywhere because he released it at the age of 18 and promptly disappeared into obscurity. He influenced the likes of Prince and OutKast so I am keen to find it.

We need to support our local record stores around the world and give me somewhere to visit when we wonder round the shops. I can't wait until we have our own house (when when when?) so that I can get the rest of the collection over and buy a stereo...with a record player. I am delighted to hear that vinyl has had a sort of resurrection in recent years with bands releasing new records on heavy vinyl. It must have an impact on the way they react to the stylus or something...more stable on the turntable. The tone is far warmer that CDs but you can't play them in the car. Talking of cars, Tracy and I saw a brand new Roller today. I'd never seen one before, but it looked awful. It's a huge ugly bulky clunky looking car. Not that I ever linked Rollers much anyway but it struck me as a shame that these classic shapes had been re-engineered into bricks on wheels with shiny bits.

I spotted another bastardisation recently - they've released a book called "Pride and Prejudice and Zombies". It takes the basic text by Jane Austin and adds a new storyline about a plague of zombies roaming around the country eating people and forcing the Bennet family to train their 5 daughters to become ninja zombie killers. I guess it's classic literature for the comic generation but it seems a shame to spoil the original. It prompted me to buy the original and start it. Then I remembered that our friend Yvonne Wallace had emailed a list of 100 books (http://www.bbc.co.uk/arts/bigread/) last year that the BBC had created after seeking recommendations from the viewers. It had Lord of the Rings at No. 1 and lots of other well-known classics and I was ashamed to see that I had only read 12 of them. So I have committed myself to make my way through as many of them as I can. I've started looking some of the out in the same stores that I buy my CDs and have so far procured War and Peace, Little Women, Moby Dick (not on the list but I thought I'd give it a go), Tess of the d'Urbervilles, Brigette Jones, Dune, David Copperfield, Birdsong, Captain Corelli's Mandolin, Anna Karenina and Emma. That should keep me going for a while.

I wonder what the average number of books from the list people have actually read?

Mine's a Pint

Master Black asked me what my favourite beer was last weekend and, despite my inability to enjoy the stuff for the next couple or three years, I thought I'd blog about my favourite tipple for your delectation.


I started tasting beer when I was a small boy, tasting it from Dad's pewter mug at parties. As most small boys will attest this experience is rarely enjoyable because their taste buds have not developed a taste for much, let alone beer, and certainly not for a pewter mug. Metallic beer.... ! At the age of 15 or 16 I started going to pubs (sorry parents) with my pals, usually before the football at Tyncastle so that the smell of beer had departed before the half hour train journey took me home to Stoneyburn. It's amazing what 3 or 4 pints will do to a 16 year old when downed in an hour, but, whilst the social aspect was enjoyable, the beer still wasn't. We used to meet at the Auld Hoose in Williams Street, Edinburgh (now a Bert's Bar) because the bar maid (Yvonne I seem to recall...amazing how I remember) served us without asking any questions. The pub was made out inside with a hug fake tree that we used to sit in the branches of. You had to be there. I can't remember the mass produced rubbish I drank back then but I remember hating the stuff. As my teenage years progressed we would start going to parties at the club next to the Playhouse and drink Grolsch. I hated that too but the bottles came with a cool flip-top so I gritted my teeth and drank it. I eventually started drinking whiskey and ginger because it didn't give me the dry boke every time I tried it. Next came university in Liverpool where we were fed watered-down beer, a new one on me. This time it was Tetley Bitter or Guiness. I couldn't stand the bitter at that point in my life and especially not watered down, so I pretty stuch stuck to Guinness. The Incredible Mr Frost and I would occasionally mix Creme de Menthe with it and we had minty Guinness. Our favourite haunt was Flanagan's Apple in the same street as the infamous Cavern Club. This was an Irish pub on 3 levels that had folk music in the basement and 2 other floors of bar area. The Guinness there was great.


It wasn't until my late 20's that I started to like beer in it's own right. I remember being in an Asda in Liverpool where they had a deal; 4 bottles of beer for the price of 3, so I picked 4 I had never heard of before and took them back to Tracey's parents and drank them all during a relaxing evening.


Fast forward to our home in Glasgow and the off-licences nearby, Peckhams and Odbins where you could buy bottled beers from all over the world. I discovered Australian beers, American beers, beers from Germany and Belgium and a variety of Scottish and English beers from microbreweries (breweries that produce up to 15,000 barrels a year). Microbreweries have become more popular in recent years as drinkers searched for different beers from different styles that actually tasted of something more than the mass produced fizzy pop that the big breweries have been producing for years.


So here's a list of beers that I have enjoyed and still enjoy in Canada today. You may recognise some of them, but they are in no particular order:

- Innes and Gunn, Oak Aged Beer http://www.innesandgunn.com/ this stuff is aged in oak casks that used to be used in the whiskey trade and you can definitely taste whiskey, but only if you drink this from a glass and give the oxygen enough time to get to the beer. Don't try drinking this out of the glass or you won't taste it.

- Little Creatures, Pale Ale http://www.littlecreatures.com.au/ the brewery building used to be a crocodile farm in Western Australia and now produces a number of ales. I've only ever tasted the Pale Ale as that was all that was available in Glasgow. I've never seen it in Canada or the US but hope springs eternal (assuming i ever get back to drinking it, that is).

- Sierra Nevada, Pale Ale www.sierranevada.com this is another beer that I found in Glasgow but have now tasted the draught version in San Diego. Not sure whether I have seen it in Canada yet.

- Unibroue, Trois Pistoles www.unibroue.com this beer is sold in large bottles in the liquor stores in BC and it packs a punch at 9% ABV. I used to enjoy a bottle of this on a Friday afternoon when I got home from work. It certainly relaxes you after a hard week at work.

- Cairngorm Brewery, Trade Winds www.cairngormbrewery.com this beer isn't brewed all year round so if you see it in the shops in Scotland or on draught in the pubs you should give it a go.

- Badger Brewery, Golden Glory www.hall-woodhouse.co.uk this is a light beer brewed with peach blossom and you can taste the subtle hint of peach when you drink it. Hall and Woodhouse is an independent brewery in Dorset.

- Lewis Richards', Home Brew I'm sorry but this brewery is way too small for a web-site but if you ever have the opportunity to taste his IPA, take it. Very nice fella.

- Granville Island Brewery, Kitsilano Male Cream Ale www.gib.ca Granville Island is a fun place to visit for the day whether you live in Vancouver or are just visiting. This beer is my favourite, but their others are great too. We've been on the tour (very short - very small brewery) and you have the chance to taste their beers afterwards in their taproom. A tip - sign up when there are fewer visitors because they give you a small tasting glass but bring the beer in pitchers so the fewer the guests, the more beer you get.

- New Belgium, Fat Tire www.newbelguim.com this is a very refreshing beer in California where it tends to be warmer than anywhere else.

- Timothy Taylor, Landlord www.timothy-taylor.co.uk I've never been one for listening to what Madonna has to say but I heard her recommend this beer and decided to try it in Glasgow. Very nice.

If you're really interested in learning more about beers I would recommend the following web-sites

- www.beeradvocate.com
- www.beerhunter.com

Beer Hunter was either started by or inspired by Michael Jackson (the beer journalist, not the occasional singer) but now that he has died I suppose it has been carried on by others. Michael wrote a number of books on the subject, the best of which is Ultimate Beer, a review of over 600 beers. Tick them off as you taste them. I used to do that. Hey ho.

Mustn't Grumble

Post #7

We are currently enjoying unnaturally good weather here in BC at the moment with temperatures that must be in the low 30's regardless of what the local media are saying. This, and the thunder and lightning storm that hit on Saturday night, has caused around 100 forest fires in the Provence, no doubt stretching the already thin resources for fighting fires even thinner. Last weekend, as we were enjoying the sun at Harrison Hot Springs (a wonderful place if you've never been - actually, it's wonderful if you have been too) a fire was raging near the town of Kelowna and 10,000 people had to be evacuated for a few days as the the fire was fought and brought under control.

The family and I were over on the Sunshine Coast this weekend visiting friends from Scotland who are here visiting relatives and we spent a great weekend chilling out (an odd phrase given the temperatures but never mind) on the beach, watching fireworks and an annual parade in the local town. Thanks guys for a wonderful weekend.

The result of this, though, is that I feel drained of energy and struggled to get out of bed this morning. I felt the same last Monday after our weekend of chilling at Harrison and I have put it down to a combination of the heat and the meds I'm on and until the medical professionals figure out what caused the recent seizures (this may never happen apparently) and the source of the general fatigue (could be the my body getting used the meds or my body not liking the meds or something else entirely) I/we will have to put up with it.

My friend Brian told me about the ex-footballer, John Hartson's battle against cancer. He was diagnoses with testicular cancer recently and the tests revealed that it had spread to his brain and lungs. The news on the web today has suggested that he is recovering from a second brain operation, is recovering well and gaining strength, but there's gaining strength and gaining strength.

I'm also reading a book called "My Stroke of Insight" by Dr Jill Bolte Taylor http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_ss_b_0_9?url=search-alias%3Dstripbooks&field-keywords=my+stroke+of+insight&sprefix=my+stroke

It is her story of how, at the age of 37 this Harvard neuroanatomist suffered a rare form of stroke in the left side of her brain greatly compromised. As the stroke happened she was able to recognise the deterioration of various functions of her brain academically but nonetheless lost the ability to walk, talk, speak and think properly. I'm about half way through the book, on Day 2 of her hospitalization, but, not wishing to spoil the ending for anyone wishing to read this, she makes a full recovery and writes the book.

So as I moan and groan about how my minor condition makes we tired and prevents me from drinking beer (a love I have, particularly on a Friday night but hardly the end of the world), driving (notice now the beer comes first in this list mmmmmm!), swimming, flying on long haul flights and pretty much do anything after a day at work (erm...that's it), that's all.

John Hartson and Jill and numerous others; my mother who fought breast cancer, my mate back home who lives with CF, friends whose son was diagnosed with CF after birth and many others are constant inspirations to me and, on the really tired days give me the kick in the arse I need.

Brian told me about a couple of bands he has been listening to recently. The Friendly Fires www.myspace.com/friendlyfires sound a bit like an early Spandau Ballet, but good and Cajun Dance Party www.myspace.com/cajundanceparty sound just like The Kooks. All of this will mean nothing to those who have never heard of either Spandau Ballet or The Kooks but who cares.

More soon........

Canadian Chocolate..fit for your dog

Post #6

The family and I have been living in Canada for over 2 years now and we see no reason to return to the UK for anything other than vacation. We have met lots of great friends, I've continued my association with Honeywell and enjoy my role here more every day and we've been introduced to a few new experiences.

Skiing: we were on the ski slopes on Vancouver Island within days of arriving under the expert tutelage of my cousin Kirsty and her family. We've progressed from cautious snow-plough to cautious parallel turns (technical term) to tempting the Olympic downhill course at Whistler. Actually that was Josh and I one weekend when we up with friends. Josh and the friends skied straight down the hill, or cliff as I liked to call it, and I opted to ski across the hill and therefore made far more turns and consequently took about half an hour longer. I don't think I will make the team for these Olympics. For those of you unfamiliar with skiing, we have 3 grades of hill: Green, which is the easiest regardless of which hill you are on; Blue, which can range from moderately difficult to the aforementioned cliff; and Black, which is almost always cliff-like, frequently bumpy and often narrow. These grades differ depending on the hill you are on. For example, the black slope on our local mountain, Mount Seymour, is like the blues at Whistler and our blues are like the greens at Whistler. we have also learned that snow boarders are the skiing equivalent of the dark side, sneaking up behind you before turning sharply. This has two results: the snow boarder narrowly misses you and secondly, they make a very loud, very sudden noise, right behind you regularly necessitating a fresh pair of undergarments. If you want to see some photos go to http://www.mountseymour.com/ or http://www.whistlerblackcomb.com/



Football (or soccer if you live here): this sport, our religion back home is open to everyone; men, women, boys, little girls, of all levels of ability. From expert toe punters like me (I'm expert at hitting the ball squarely with my toe and nothing else in fitba) to little girls who have never kicked a ball before, like Evie when we first arrived. This is different to Scotland where fitba was really on open to boys who were pretty good (assuming you knew someone who coached a team) and amateur men who played on a week day night and took the sport far too seriously. So both Josh and Evie have been playing in a team since they arrived and I help coach Josh's team with a great Kiwi called Grant. We don't have to pass any coaching exams or courses run by the local authority, but nor do we have to submit forms so that the club can check our Police records. This is a little scary but it seems to work fine.

Baseball/Field Hockey: in the late Spring/early Summer Josh plays in a baseball team and Evie a field hockey team. We have to call it field hockey here because "hockey" is the game they treat as their religion here that they play on ice and if you are new to the sport you spend the entire game watching where the puck (think of the ball, but smaller, harder and kind of flat...so not really a ball) used to be 3 seconds ago. It's slightly easier when we watch my cousin Heather's boys playing, but not much. So baseball is the most boring game in the world, it typically lasts 2.5 hours and consists of small boys missing the ball a lot. Field Hockey is considerably more fun, being as it is considerably shorter in length and, with the success rate of Evie's team, including more scoring.

Spring time: in the Spring in Vancouver we are able to partake in the North American experience of skiing in the morning and lying on the beach in the afternoon. This is not something we were capable of doing in Glasgow. The closest we got to this was skiing on artificial ski-slopes which was brush matting. Imagine skiing over a large brush turned upside down. Now imagine how much skin you would have left if you fell on it.

Otherstuff: we have kayaking available, hiking, mountain biking and, of course, the wildlife. We regularly see bald eagles, bears, raccoons and pigeons(??) and in the ocean we have seals, sea lions, dolphins, Grey whales and orca.

However, it's not all rosy in the land of maple syrup. Their chocolate is just the wrong side of inedible. I'm not talking about some weird Canadian brand that we've never heard of, I'm talking about Cadbury's. It's something to do with the stuff they put into the chocolate to prevent it from melting, but the result is a chocolate that we would typically give to dogs in the UK. Canadian TV is awful, unless you have the really expensive cable, in which case it's lots of channels of awful content and a few decent shows and sports. We watch the BBC channel which is exclusively news programs, the Food Channel if our Jamie Oliver is on it and erm, that's about it. Of course it is perhaps deliberately bad to discourage us from sitting in front of it all evening and get out to enjoy all of the above activities, but even then, there's no excuse for dross we have to put up with. Those of you reading this from the UK should be grateful that you have the BBC's many channels (TV and Radio) and Channel 4. Equally frustrating are the Canadian takeaway curries. Horrible runny and, in some cases, quite healthy. If I wanted "healthy" I wouldn't be choosing a curry. They don't have pubs here but they do have sports bars. This means you sit at a table, have beer and other tipples brought to you by a waitress (almost exclusively very pretty, blond and wearing a dress at least one size too small). Then you sit with your friends and try not to be distracted by the myriad of televisions (monster screens) showing everything from hockey (the ice version) baseball, American Football, golf, and the most pointless of sports, basketball. A game in which a point is scored every 3 seconds by unnaturally tall boys whose shorts would make rather baggy trousers for the averagely heighted person. Every 3 seconds...which means there's absolutely no action or interest at all until the last 5 minutes. And people watch this, in bars. And the unnaturally large TVs, all competing for viewers in these bars, all have the sound up.

Other than this we are happy here.

Concert Prices

Post 5

Sorry Mr Ford for the lack of content yesterday but I am finding myself in need of a nap in the early evening these days and it's since I started taking my anti-siezure meds. Don't know if the two things are linked but I can only assume that they are. Even after a good nights sleep and a reasonably easy day in the office (no driving around to meetings for me at the moment) it's still the same so I may turn this daily post into a whenever-I-feel-up-to-it post. Maybe it's just old age catching up with me and punishing me and my body for years of abuse. No, that can't be it. I mean we drank a fair bit at university but that was 20 years ago and it was pretty watered down ale to be honest. And anyway, since then, my capacity for drinking in those volumes has reduced to somewhere on the wrong side of half a pint so it can't be that. The biggest problem though is not the unnatural tiredness but my enforced inability to drive. It's killing me. That used to be my time to listen to my favourite tunes, particularly the stuff that Tracey doesn't like which is pretty much all of it. Try listening to The Fall now. Not only that, I shouldn't really be left on my own either so I can't listen to "my music" in the house.

One thing I can do, though, is go to concerts, just as long as I go with someone who likes it too. Tracey and I went to see Coldplay the other week. We paid $70 each for tickets that the singer, Chris Martin, described as "suicide seats" when he saw them towards the end of the concert. And out tickets were the cheaps seats. Give them there due though, they gave away a free live CD as we left the concert. This was a nice thought but a) you can apparently download the CD from the interweb anyway so it's hardly unique and b) it probably retails for around $10 so we are still paying a lot of money to see a show from very high up in a hockey arena. It was, however, a great show.

We are also taking the whole family to see U2 this October at the big stadium in town. They have mandated that every show will have 10,000 at around $30...so we bought 4 of them...but we are behind the stage. It's a 360 degree stage so we should see something but the stage is up at our end of the pitch so the majority of the audience will be infront of the stage so that's where the band will be facing for most of the show I'm guessing. I will let you know.

Compare all this to the Raconteurs. I took Josh to see them last summer in the big park in Vancouver, Stanley Park and the tickets were around $30 each. It was Josh's first concert and he thoroughly enjoyed it but at least it was more affordable. And he can say this was his first show when he gets older and not be embarassed like his Dad: Hot Chocolate at the Usher Hall in Edinburgh when I was 10.

It's all very different from when the Incredible Richard Ford and I used to go to concerts when we were at university. 20 years ago the bands we like were playing live for 5 - 10 pound, or $10 - $20. These are the same types of bands that are playing in Vancouver now for $30. Not a huge increase when you think about it. So it's just the big shot bands and artists that are demanding the big prices and their promoters (Live Nation) and record companies that are probably taking the majority of the proceeds.

Everyone should come to the dark side and start listening to proper music instead of the only the mass (over) produced crap that makes all the big money for the record companies. I just hope that these artists are getting their fair share of the profits but I suspect not, hence the long line of artists that have filed for bankruptcy.

Here's some recommendations for my dozens (I wish) of followers out there. Records that should be considered by bands or artists that are not multi-millionaires. The Faces included Rod Stewart who definately is a multi-millionaire, but the rest of the surviving members are not.

1. Ogdens Nut Gone Flake by the Small Faces
2. Bryter Layter by Nick Drake www.brytermusic.com
3. Your Arsenal by Morrissey www.itsmorrisseysworld.com
4. Screamadelica by Primal Scream www.primalscream.net
5. A Nod's As Good As a Wink...To a Blind Horse by The Faces www.the-faces.com
6. Hour of Bewildrbeast by Badly Drawn Boy
7. Surfa Rosa by The Pixies www.4ad.com/pixies
8. Rings Around The World by Supper Furry Animals www.superfurry.com
9. Heavy Soul by Paul Weller www.paulweller.com
10. The 3 E.Ps by The Beta Band www.betaband.com
11. The Las by The Las

Happy Listening.

Ronaldo signs for Hearts (I wish)

Post #4

So Cristiano Ronaldo has been presented at the Estadio Santiago Bernabeu stadium this week in front of a capacity 80,354 crowd after finalising the world record transfer of 80 million pounds (I don't have the pound sign on this North American laptop). The Real Madrid President, Florentino Perez wants to return to the Galacticos era where the world's best players play for the club. They have already signed Kaka for 56 million pounds and will no doubt sign more.

It's a risky move since the last Galacticos ended in some success and lots o failure. For example, the club refused to pay defenders the same level of salary as the attacking players and this saw the departure of Makelele from the last Galacticos team to Chelsea when David Beckham arrived at the club. Ironically, at this point Real Madrid stopped winning silverware and Chelsea started.

But the really interesting point about this week's event is the number of fans that turned up to see a young man put the strip on and juggle a few balls about. 80,354. What did they expect to see? Off their heads, the lot of them.

The nearest we've had in Scotland was when Dalglish returned to parkhead as Director of football for Celtic. About 100 people turned cheering, shouting and, probably drinking Tennents Super by the way pal. It was a similar scene when Celtic were in dire straits about a decade ago and the fans were screaming for the Board to be sacked. This happened on a regular basis and the great unwashed (literally in some cases - soap dodging beggers) of Glasgow's East End would gather outside the main stand chanting and singing and drinking more Tennents Super. Young BBC reporters would be dispatched to get a sense of the atmosphere and interview some of the fans for that night's tele and be talked at by the assembled hords.

The same thing happened in Newcastle (and is probably happening now - Richard, comments?) but nothing in quite the same numbers as the mad Spaniards.

I suppose I'm just jealous. Hearts could afford to borrow Ronaldo for a week let alone buy him and even if we could he wouldn't come. Who would want to play in front of (barely) 18,000 fans on a wet Thursday night against Hamilton in the League Cup...and lose. This is why Kaka rejected Man City's bid to land him. Not that they play Hamilton but you get my drift. No, Hearts have other problems to deal with, mounting debt, a tiny wee stadium and a Lithuanian owner who fancies himself as the manager and makes a roaring arse of it in the process. I wish we had a stadium that was capable of holding anywhere near 80,000 people. The closest we have come is using Murrayfield (60,000) for European games and barely managing to fill half of it.

No, us Jambos will have to make do with what we've got and aim for finishing 3rd in the league...the closest we'll ever get to winning the league.

Peter