Skinny Pete

I'm on a diet. Someone at work had the idea of starting an office version of the TV show "The Biggest Loser". A few of us have paid $50 each and will be weighed monthly until the end of June to find out who has lost the biggest percentage of their weight. The winner will pocket all the winnings; about $600 now. Having thought about it I think we should be offering the winnings to charity and will suggest that this week. I probably won't be very popular but who is going to be brave enough to challenge a plea to have the winnings sent to Oxfam or UNICEF...or whatever. Most of us have declared that we are not interested in the money but the challenge to lose weight so there shouldn't be much of a challenge to my charitable suggestion. We will see.

Anyway, I've been measuring myself for the past few weeks and have lost 6 pounds. I've set a target to lose about 20% (this may or may not be realistic) and I will see how I get on. Other fatties in the office have lost considerably more but have taken to cheating by taking tablets that speed up the metabolism and colonic swilling-out.

My approach is simple; no alcohol (I can't anyway), no chocolate (very difficult, more so than beer), no candy, no cake and no cookies or pop or ice-cream or normal cream and a bit more exercise. "A bit more" equates to a run once a week so far, but I'm still playing football on a Thursday and trying to ski when the weather and my time permit it. I could also cut out bread but I need something to look forward to.

I'm going to try to keep this up beyond June too. I see no point in losing some weight during this period and then putting it all back on again in the latter part of the year. This is the problem most habitual dieters face as their weight drops and increases at regular intervals. Pointless. I could have the occasional chocolate after June, but the problem I have is that once I get the taste of chocolate I have to eat the whole lot. I think my simple sub-conscious thinks the chocolate will go off if it's left for more than a few hours after opening it. I will have to be very careful.

I've noticed a change already; my trousers have a habit of falling down if I don't wear a belt. Belts were simply fashion accessories for me in the past with no real function (my kecks would happily remain around my ever-expanding waist on their own, thank you very much) but now I actually need them to hold my pants up. I ventured out with the garbage the other day without a belt and had to hold my trousers up with me free hand. When I do wear my belt it's now tightened up an extra hole. The problem is, as I lose more weight, and therefore girth from around my middle, I will have to tighten my 36" trousers so much that they will make me look like a rather well dressed vagrant. I've taken that too far.............